Chocoholic. That’s the word my mom uses to describe that feeling of being completely addicted to chocolate. I often just use it as a one word descriptor of me. It sounds funny at first, I mean, we’ve all seen movies where some girl gets dumped and goes immediately for the Ben & Jerry’s or a box of chocolates and holds onto the chocolates with a death grip. But for me, that feeling of being an addict is pretty serious. Some studies have shown that chocolate (along with other junk food) can be as addictive as heroin. Chocolate doesn’t cost a lot of money and it certainly doesn’t send me on 8 hour benders that I forget about but I definitely know that feeling of being under the power of some benign substance.

The thing about chocolate is that it’s the only food that makes me feel like I have an addiction. I talk about other foods like bacon, cheese, mayonnaise, etc. but I can handle life without them. I love eating those foods but I definitely don’t consume them everyday and I don’t get nervous if I can’t have them. But if someone were to remove the chocolate from my pantry (which right now only contains dark chocolate) I would probably hunt them down. I am not over-exaggerating when I say that I have eaten chocolate in some form or another almost everyday of my life. What do I mean by some form or another? Well, my chocolate cravings come in different forms. Sometimes I crave a very specific kind of chocolate experience. So let me break them down in the form of a handy list:

-chocolate bars. It’s always milk chocolate with some kind of candy or nuts inside. See: Kit-Kat, Reese, Snickers, Mars, Crunch, Coffee Crisp, I’d better stop typing or else I’ll be here all day.

-fancy chocolates like the ones from Laura Secord

-Ice cream with chocolate in it. This is totally different from chocolate ice cream which, strangely, I don’t care for. Ice cream with chocolate in it is usually vanilla ice cream with, well, something chocolate in it. See: almost every Ben & Jerry’s flavour ever made. Related: chocolate sundaes.

-Toblerone bars (they deserve their own category)

-chocolate cake

-chocolate cupckaes

-chocolate cheesecake

-chocolate frosting

-brownies

-just plain old squares of solid milk chocolate like the ones in those porn-y Dove ads

-chocolate chip cookies

-chocolate sandwich cookies (Oreos, Fudgee-Os, etc)

Notice that dark chocolate is not anywhere on this list. I don’t think I have ever come home from a long day and thought to myself, “I just want to sit on the couch and eat some dark chocolate.” I’m guessing that it’s probably because dark chocolate doesn’t have as much sugar in it as milk chocolate so I don’t get the same rush. So what I’m doing now is only keeping dark chocolate in the house. I bought two bars last Wednesday and guess what? I’m not even halfway through the first bar! I can guarantee that if they were milk chocolate they would have been gone by Friday (it’s now Sunday). And yes, I see this as progress.

If chocolate is like my heroin addiction then dark chocolate is my methadone. But I don’t intend on giving up chocolate altogether. My goal instead is to be one of those people who can enjoy a slice of birthday cake and leave it at that. I don’t want to be the person for whom “one is too many and a thousand is never enough.” And believe me, I’ve been at that point where it feels like I’ve fallen down the rabbit hole (or in my case, ended up at the grocery store checkout with an entire chocolate cake hoping that I don’t run into anyone I know). My goal is to work on moderation and I’ve realized that at least for now, that involves not keeping all of my problem foods in the house but still having the occasional indulgence.

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