There’s a disorder known as Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) in which the sufferer will look in the mirror and see herself as much fatter than she actually is. It usually affects girls with anorexia and bulimia. No matter how thin they get they still see themselves as huge and overweight. Sometimes I think I have the opposite problem. I look in the mirror and think that I don’t look that bad. I often find myself leaving the house for a night out feeling confident and sexy only to have that confidence ripped away from me when someone posts pictures of the night on Facebook.

I don’t know what is wrong with me. I mean, mirrors don’t lie, do they? I can’t figure out what it is in my head that tells me I look great only to later see photographic evidence that says the exact opposite. I’m not sure when I developed a double chin but I sure as hell noticed it one year after I went through Facebook pictures from Halloween. There I was, the living dead, pale and with a huge blob of fat bulging from underneath my chin. It reminded me of that episode of True Blood when Jason and his crazy girlfriend meet a fat vampire. They ask why he isn’t young and sexy like all the other vampires and poor Fat Vampire has to explain that a body stays the same as it was before it was “turned”. It turns out that being a vampire isn’t an automatic ticket to a fit, sexy body.

The upside is that unlike Fat Vampire, I actually have the ability to change my body. I do not have to be stuck with this same overweight body for all eternity and I’m doing my best to keep moving forward to a body that I find sexy and attractive. In the meantime, I’m going to keep enjoying True Blood and the eye candy otherwise known as Alexander Skarsgard.

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