Last night I noticed myself slipping back into old habits (after only 3 weeks) and it really freaked me out. I think my first mistake was making dip in the first place. But my second was to warm up some frozen sweet potato fries just after midnight to have with the chipotle dip. It wasn’t all bad at first. I was actually hungry. But then as I ate I noticed myself forcing to finish off all fries I had warmed up even though I was feeling full. I started to get that old feeling again that I was forcing myself to eat when I didn’t really need to. I probably would have been okay with just a couple of oatmeal cookies and a glass of milk but I convinced myself to go for the fries because I didn’t want the dip to go to waste either.
The point is that it was scary to feel that way again. I am pretty sure that my eating habits are related to some kind of emotional issues. After all, why else would a 272 pound girl force herself to eat? It just doesn’t make sense. Today has been better though. I have only eaten when hungry and I feel a lot more comfortable with what I’ve eaten today. I just need to keep it up.