Weight – 273.5

Last week I wrote about making sure that I used up all my food to the best of my ability. So far it’s going really well. I had a bunch of cheese leftover from the Jamie Oliver recipe I tried so I decided to make homemade pizza. I didn’t realize until I started eating that I had parmesan and not mozzarella but still, the pizza is pretty decent. And another thing, I’ve noticed that I actually get full after two slices rather than eating four at one time (the way I usually do with delivery pizza). This week I’m going to be making pasta because I realized that I have spinach cream cheese and I have a recipe to make some kind of spinach alfredo linguine. So even though I had hoped to make nachos, I’ll be making the pasta to use up the cream cheese in time. And this is how I roll!

Anyway, onto bigger and better things. Recently I was browsing through the profile pictures of my cousin’s girlfriend. I know it sounds weird but it’s just something I do. As I went through the pictures I couldn’t help but notice the amount of shots that showed her in action and doing really exciting activities. There was a shot of her at the top of a mountain, about to snowboard to the bottom. There she was surfing in South America. There she was standing at the top of the grand canyon (or at least something that looks like it). There she was hiking near a waterfall in some kind of tropical paradise. There she was skydiving (!!!).

It occurred to me that this is what I want. I want to be able to take on all sorts of crazy activities and not feel like my weight is holding me back. Now I know that some HAES (healthy at every size) people will insist that their weight doesn’t hold them back from doing that kind of stuff. And you know what? That’s great. But every time I am out of breath and dizzy just from climbing a flight of stairs I feel like I am being held back. Every time I can’t walk comfortably down the street because of chub rub (no matter what I’m wearing) I feel like I’m held back.

I am a homebody by nature but I don’t want to look back on my life and realize that I spent all my time at home watching 30 Rock rather than going out and having new experiences. So whether it’s hot yoga (which I will try as soon as I save up enough money) or salsa dancing or heck, sky diving, I want to be in the best shape of my life so that I have no qualms about trying new things and I don’t have to worry about any physical limitations.

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