*warning* this post is all about gross stomach problems

I’m back from India! It was a great trip and yes, it impacted my thoughts about eating and how much I eat, etc. But that’s not what this post is about. No, this post is about what happened after I returned from India. And what happened is that I had the worst stomach trouble (to put it lightly) that I’ve ever had in my life. It happened immediately after the plane landed. I was walking toward immigration when I found myself running toward the bathroom instead, where I threw up over and over again. After my brother and mom picked me up we drove out of Detroit and back into Canada. As we crossed the border I could feel something going on in my stomach so I told my brother to stop at the nearby McDonald’s as fast as possible. I ran in and quickly found out that I had the runs. Yep: diarrhea.

For some reason I thought that maybe it was just a one time thing. I put the vomiting down to the occasional nausea that I get when flying and thought that the diarrhea was a result of exhaustion. And believe me, I was exhausted. I had just experienced an 8 hour car ride to Delhi, a 9 hour flight to France, an 8 hour layover in Paris and another 9 hour flight to Detroit. I slept but sleeping upright with a neck pillow is not the same as lying down in a bed. Since I thought the stomach trouble was a one time thing I ended up having a 4am snack of a chocolate bar and milk. That was a bad idea.

Needless to say, the next few days involved the same routine of running to the bathroom (some times 4 times in half an hour!) with the runs and throwing up anything that wasn’t totally plain, like the day I tried to eat peanut butter on toast. I feel the need to reiterate that never in my life had I experienced being so sick. It was awful enough that I lost six pounds in two days and was generally pretty miserable.

Luckily all bad things come to an end. I’ve finally started eating normal food again. And boy did I eat. I have never felt so ravenous in my life. On the first day that I was able to eat normally I had four Eggo waffles, a Subway sandwich and a pizza with ham, ground beef, green peppers, sautéed mushrooms and caramelized onions. I’m obviously not going to eat that way everyday but it was definitely enjoyable after days of having nothing but chicken noodle soup and crackers.

So why did I title this post Farting with Confidence? Because now I finally can. My stomach isn’t totally back to normal, I have more gas than I’ve ever had in my life. But at least I no longer have to run to the bathroom every time my stomach gurgles.

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