For the last year or so I’ve been dressing like a bum. I mean, my clothes aren’t horrible but I find myself wearing yoga pants and t-shirts almost everyday. It’s gotten progressively worse as I find that fewer and fewer clothes fit me. It’s not that I want to walk around in gym clothes but it’s more a matter that a) everything else is too tight and b) there’s not much choice for me to buy anything new.

The lack of clothing selection is the main reason that I keep putting on yoga pants day after day. But to make things even worse it’s not like I’m putting together cute outfits that are colour coordinated and sporty looking. Yesterday I had on brown yoga pants with a grey t-shirt that is just a little too small. It was not attractive. But anyway, getting back to the lack of selection. I’m at a point now where I can barely even fit into anything from Old Navy (which goes up to a size 18, I think) except for, you guessed it, yoga pants and t-shirts. That means I’m cut out from any selection of skirts, dresses, pants and fancy tops they might have.

Here in Canada there’s not much choice for plus-sized shoppers. There are two main plus-sized stores, Pennington’s and Addition Elle (which I believe are actually the same company but that’s neither here nor there). Both stores offer up a selection of clothing that looks like a combination of business attire and a mom’s idea of casual wear. Sometimes they have nice dresses but that’s about it. If I want a “young” look then my only choice is to either buy online from Torrid and pay a ridiculous amount of shipping fees or cross the American border and drive almost an hour to the nearest store. And even Torrid doesn’t have that much selection. I find a lot of their dresses to be ill-fitting and for some reason their idea of being a fabulous proud plus-size woman means putting leopard print on almost everything. I’m not even going to get into their extensive collection of Twilight themed t-shirts.

If I’m going to be honest to myself then I have to admit that my sartorial options at this size are severely limited. Even if I liked the clothes at the plus size stores they are also very costly. I don’t have the freedom that my slim friends have to go to Kensington Market or Value Village and put together a fabulous outfit for under $30. Whether or not there should be more clothing options for plus-size women is a whole other debate. For now I have realized that the way I look is probably having an effect on me. I think that deep down there is a voice telling me that I don’t deserve to look good and that I shouldn’t bother spending money on myself when I’m so big. But I need to get past that. I could probably dress better if I wanted to. Some people might think it’s silly but I truly do think that taking care of myself, putting on a nice outfit and doing my hair will probably lift up my self esteem. Why else would makeover shows be so popular? So many people are walking around looking unkempt and they just need a new outfit and a good haircut to look so much better.

Obviously a makeover isn’t the solution to all of life’s problems but at times it can be enough to lift a person up and start to give them a new outlook. So from now on I’m going to take better care of myself including how I present myself out in public. I’m not going to go out with my hair looking haggard or in yoga pants that show every little bump and curve of my body. I deserve to look nice no matter what size I am.