A while back I wrote about the experience I had when I confided to a friend about my obsessive thoughts about food. I explained the different ways I would think about food and how often it popped into my brain. She told me flat out, “That’s messed.” I thought that was my wake-up call. And in a way it was. I have since worked on myself a lot and I definitely no longer feel quite so obsessed with food and I no longer feel like I am controlled and consumed by those thoughts. Although I haven’t lost any weight, I consider that a small victory.

But recently I got a real wake-up call. Two days after Christmas my dad was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. I didn’t know how to react. On the one hand, I couldn’t really say I was surprised. My dad unfortunately has horrible eating habits but also both of his parents have type 2 diabetes, which means that his risk was already increased regardless of his lifestyle. I found myself literally feeling shaken up. It felt like my insides were fluttering all day and like I simply couldn’t calm down.

Since that day I’ve realized that things are going to have to change. I won’t be doing any baking at home anymore unless it’s a small cake for someone’s birthday. We won’t be able to order pizza on a whim because that causes blood sugar to spike. Same goes for us ordering Chinese food with lots of sweet sugary sauces. In short, this diagnosis has already made me really examine just how much sugar my family and I consume. I’m also really determined to change now. I don’t care what any fat acceptance movement says, the studies have shown over and over again that being overweight leaves people at risk for developing various health problems, including type 2 diabetes.

There’s always a chance that I could develop diabetes myself even if I decide to never eat anything made with sugar ever again. After all, three out of my four grandparents have it and now my dad has it. It obviously runs in my family. But I still want to get healthy. I want to lose weight and I want to ensure that I have a well rounded diet that will give me the best life possible.